Shortage of Essential Editing Material

Editors around the country are bracing themselves for an anticipated worldwide shortage of tea, due to hit within months. The emergence of a growing middle class in countries such as Brazil, Russia, India and China has led to a greater demand for tea and producers are struggling to meet orders.

'It's terrible,' said Alishan Sencha, a Melbourne editor. 'I don't know how I'm going to get any work done if this happens. I'll basically be unemployable.'

In an attempt to save the editing industry, IPEd have approached an independent distributor to see if a bulk consignment of a quality product can be delivered in time for the national conference next month. If they are successful, editors will be able to enter a ballot to purchase up to five kilograms of tea, for personal use only.

'There are no guarantees,' said an IPEd spokesperson. 'But we have to try and do something. It's potentially a crisis for our profession. If we can't pull this off, we may even have to cancel the conference. I mean, what would be the point? We'd barely be able to concentrate past 10am.'

Editors Victoria is urging members to stay calm. 'As hard as it might be, editors should consider switching to coffee or start dealing with their caffeine addiction.'

In better news, recent rumours that the RSPCA have called for a ban on the use of cats as domestic pets were found to be false. Apparently it was just an April Fool's Day joke.